**Disclaimer** before I start, I wanted to say that I'm writing with the awareness that I'm at risk of turning this blog into a completely MS-related blog...but that's kind of a big part of "what I'm doing," so it'll be present in a lot (hopefully not all) of my posts. Anyway...
So yeah. Let's talk about injuries. Since my diagnosis back on October 2014, I've developed this deep need (for lack of a better word) for the rest of my body to be perfect. Or at least to work perfectly. Even pre-diagnosis, I had a hard time being at all limited because of an injury, but now, it feels even worse (adds insult to injury...yuk yuk yuk). Injuries since October 2014 have had a much deeper psychological effect on me.
I bet you're wondering what happened to me.
Last week I dislocated my shoulder. Well, I subluxated it, but when people see me in my sling and ask what happened, I don't bother getting all doctor-y with them, and just tell them a term I know they've heard of. Basically the difference is that with a subluxation, the ball doesn't go completely out of the socket, so it eventually finds its way back in. In terms of damage to the surrounding nerves, muscles, ligaments, etc. in my shoulder joint though, it feels pretty much the same.
|Shoulder courtesy of Google - I couldn't find a picture of my own dislocation anywhere|
The first time I dislocated my shoulder was my Freshman year of high school, so this is something I've been dealing with for almost 10 years. You see, once you dislocate your shoulder, you're WAY more likely to have it happen again (and again...and again...). So this isn't a new thing for me. I know what to do when it happens and how to treat it afterwards. I've gotten surgery on it once, but I'm told that it isn't that weird for that surgery to not be a permanent fix. So, in the wake of some other subluxations a couple years ago, I had already come to grips with the fact that I'd eventually have to get another surgery (a different one that's apparently awesome).
So I'm out of commission. I have been for a week, and if I'm going to be safe and responsible, I will be for at least another week. As I said, I know what I'm supposed to do to treat this kind of thing...BUT I DON'T WANNA!!!
I've been sleeping in a sling, all wrapped up in an ace bandages so I don't accidentally flop around wrong and pop everything out of place again; I've been icing whenever I'm not out and about; I've been really resting it and getting all hopped up on Tylenol and Naproxen. I'm being a good girl, AND IT SUCKS.
|Me with nighttime sling and expertly wrapped (by ME) ace bandage|
|Me with ice and corn strapped to shoulder for convenience|
These past few months, I've been getting myself into better shape than I've ever been in that I can remember. I'm not exaggerating. I've been exercising regularly at least 4 times a week, and here's the kicker: I'm actually enjoying it. I've been doing Krav Maga, and I love it, and it's an amazing workout, and it's empowering, and it's awesome, and it's perfect, and I love it, and I love it. I'll definitely talk more about it in some other post, because it's become my new "thing."
I've been feeling so strong (mentally and physically) with all the Krav I've been doing, and now I can't do it for what feels like forever. I mean, for someone who's been doing it 3 or 4 times a week for 4 months, 2 weeks is a long time! Plus, who knows if my shoulder will actually be ok to get back in the game by then. I just really need my outlet. Now that I've found it, there's an even bigger hole there than before I found it.
And it doesn't help that I've been dealing with roommate/apartment/landlord stuff up the wazoo this past week (literally to the day, it all started exactly at the same time - these past seven days have been rough).
Alright, this post was super doomy and gloomy. I promise I'll be more positive next time. Well...I have some unpublished posts that I've been meaning to polish up and share with the world that are also doomy and gloomy...NO NO NO I do promise that the next post that gets published, for better or for worse, will be a happy one. I'll talk about the good things in my life at least once before I dive back into my woes.
Hold me to it, OK? I need help with these things sometimes.