Sunday, September 6, 2015

GUEST POST: Moving, As Told By Fluffy the Car

Hi, my name's Fluffy.

I'm an '09 Honda Civic hybrid, and I belong to Tessa.  For the last few weeks, she's been preparing me for a trip.  I'm actually pretty amped about it, because it meant that I got a new tire, trailer hitch, and all sorts of cool stuff!  I think she was so preoccupied with making sure I could handle the trip that she sort of forgot to pack.  I think that's how people get the stuff ready that they put in my trunk.

This is me today:

I guess I'm kind of appreciative of not having to have some giant bed strapped to the top of me or whatever...but I mean seriously.  I'm a hybrid.  That giant thing is going to cancel out any fuel efficiency I have.  This is the 21st century here, people.  Cars like me are supposed to be saving this climate.  I'm not being pretentious or anything...I'm just concerned about gas prices for Tessa.

Things I'm looking forward to on this trip:

1. Showing the world that I can pull that motherfucker for 2000 miles!

2. Seeing parts of the country I've never seen before.

3. Hitting 100k OH YEAH!!!

Things I'm not looking forward to on this trip:

1. Oscar.  That creature is going to ruin my seats, and can we talk about how WHINY he is??!  I mean I know Tessa loves him or whatever, but honestly...

2. Bottoming out under all this weight.

3. Having the fuel efficiency of a Hummer.

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