Friday, September 18, 2015

GUEST POST (PART 2): Moving, As Told By Oscar the Dog

Day 1: Can someone please tell me what's going on?  Why is Mom doing that thing where she carries everything outside?  Bark bark bark!  Why is everyone yelling at me?  Bark bark bark!  My world is crashing down around me- I must escape!  Ok, here I go...oh hey there's Mom!  Hi Mom!  I love you I love you Iloveyou!!  I'm so happy you're here- you can save me from the end of the world.

Things seem to have stopped moving around...but I have no things anymore.  My toys are gone.  My crate is gone.  My bed is gone-CAR!!!!  Yes my favorite!  I will jump in now.  Oh, the car just turned on-I'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.  MUST GET OUT NOW.

Day 2: I slept well last night.  5 hours of yowling and getting shoved into the back seat will take a lot out of a dog.  Although I was unclear on why Mom and Elena put my crate up in this weird room with them.  It smelled a million different people and that stuff Mom puts on the floor when I pee.  But my things are back, so that's good.  I see my water bowl and my food bowl...lots of my toys-CAR!!!  Here I go again! .....OH NO!

What is nature?  What the-?  Why is it so dark outside- INTRUDER! BARKBARKBARK- oh.  I'm definitely not allowed to do that.  But did my bark just answer me?  What is that about?  What is this rustly thing Mom and Elena are playing with?  It's dark guys!  Don't you know that terrible things happen in the dark?  Well, I might have just made that up- INTRUDER! BARKBARKBARK- stop yelling at me Mom!  I heard a noise I've never heard before!  It was scary...

Day 3: So it turns out that rustly thing was a sleeping place.  Mom didn't make me sleep in the crate and I got to snuggle with her.  That was good because it was cold.  It felt like outside...but it looked like inside.  I was confused.  I also got to meet lots of people today!  That's my favorite.  One of them gave me a "kornkab," I think.  It doesn't matter- it was tasty!

Day 4: Well, as it turns out, the best way not to die in the car is to lie down. Huh.  I must say, this thundershirt Mom gave me is pretty comfy.  The way it works is that it's a shield that protects me from all the bad things.  I slept a lot in the car today.  Mom seems calmer than usual too.

Hey!  It's Aunt Anna!  I know her!  And look- she even brought another dog for me to play with.  Oh- well I guess he's not into that.  I don't understand that -- I always go up to dogs and say "hey- wanna play?" in my growliest, barkiest way, and somehow almost none of them like me.  Sometimes they'll growl back at me and I say "awesome! Do it again!"  Then they get really mad at me.  Someday, someone's going to have to explain dogs to me.

Day 5: The car is no longer my enemy.  I fell asleep in what Mom calls "DeeCee," and when I woke up, we were in "Boztin."  I don't understand, but it was pretty great.  Uncle Sam!  Aunt Nellie!  Finally, I'm seeing all the people I know!  This is great.  I'm happy.  No stress here tonight.

Day 6: Well today was easy.  Not only was the car time short, but I got to have Elena in my seat with me!  AND I got to see Jamie!  THEN I saw my Gramma and Grampa!  They love me, and I love them.  They also brought dogs for me to play with.  They're much nicer to me...but they're also teaching me about dogs.  When was someone going to tell me that growling was a bad thing??  Come on, world, help me out here.

1 comment:

  1. Oscar, that last picture is unbelievable. How did you get that!!??